In Loving Memory....

[binaryalchemist]

..of my mother, Marjorie, who died 19 years ago today. A stunningly beautiful woman whose brilliant mind and independent spirit was a slap in the face to the world. Her only refuge was in addiction and her frustration and misery translated into alcoholism and drug abuse and extreme violence at times, echoing her own abusive childhood
....and she beat it.
She WON.
Sobriety was hard won--she detested AA and other 12-step groups. She got sober, although she never managed to kick the prescription drug habit. In the last 15 years of her life she made amends--and healed me. Before she died, she became my inseparable best friend and her death tore a hole in my heart that will never quite heal.
From mother and child....to abuser and survivor....to the closest friend I'll ever know.
It's funny--I have a scar on my right hand that I got when she burned me at age 5--and now instead of bitterness when I see it I think of lessons learned on both sides...how far we came...and how much I look forward to seeing her next time around the Wheel.

Comments

[vexed_wench]

*hugs*
I am sorry for your loss . I aploude your strength an your vast amounts of forgiveness.

[binaryalchemist.livejournal.com]

Thanks...and it was something we had to face and heal together. I'll miss her forever.

[fullmetalrose.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I know how you feel ... I miss my mom alot.

[binaryalchemist.livejournal.com]

Thanks, cher--does it EVER get any easier? Don't think so...

[fullmetalrose.livejournal.com]

*sighs* It really depends ... for the most part I KNOW she is in heaven looking down on me and taking care of me from above you know. Then some days, weeks, months even the anniversary of her death will be like she JUST died that day not back in 1991 ... so yeah I have my good and bad but like they say no one can EVER replace your mother ... *hugs*

[dragonimp.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you got that chance to know her like you were obviously meant to... it sounds like she learned the lessons she was supposed to in this life and really shone afterwards.

[binaryalchemist.livejournal.com]

Mom did amazingly. When I think where she decended...and what it must have been like to face harming her own child...and beating the bottle...I am so proud of her. The fact that it hurts is proof that we made peace...so I'm thankful that the pain reminds me of how hard we worked together to get it right this time around.