New Filk--Flashin' ABBA: "COMMANDO!"

[binaryalchemist]

I wrote this for the filk I'm going to tomorrow night--my voice may suck, but this will be fun--my first ever ABBA filk:

COMMANDO!

(TTTO “FERNANDO” by Bjorn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson, Stig Anderson )

          by Aunty Binary, 2010   

 

 

You were going out commando—

You had won an Ebay auction for a kilt of Scottish plaid

You were quite a hefty man, though—

And imperial to metric size conversions must be right

If a brawny lad is shy of flashing too much of his manhood to the night…

 

You were going out commando—

You were bonny, you were bold but there was panic in your eye

You’re a regimental man, though—

In a badly tailored garment that keeps crawling up your knees

And the next sub-zero puff of artic wind will bare your sporran to the breeze!

 

Blame that tailor back in old Hong Kong—the size is wrong, Commando!

Can’t believe that you would take this chance sans underpants, Commando!

It’s a bummer that you’ve got no class—so cover your mass

Catch your kilt before it disappears—you’re in arrears—Commando!

Catch your kilt before it disappears—you’re in arrears—Commando!

 

We have made your bail, Commando—

We have offered words of pardon to that busload full of nuns

When you dropped your lunch, Commando

You retrieved your Quarter Pounder and exposed them to your buns

And we’ll try to hide the those photos on your Facebook from our daughters and our sons

 

Blame that tailor back in old Hong Kong—the size is wrong, Commando!

Can’t believe that you would take this chance sans underpants, Commando!

It’s a bummer that you’ve got no class—so cover your mass

Catch your kilt before it disappears—you’re in arrears—Commando!

 

Blame that tailor back in old Hong Kong—the size is wrong, Commando!

Can’t believe that you would take this chance sans underpants, Commando!

Better light your candle double quick—you’ve frozen your wick!

 

Catch your kilt before it disappears—you’re in arrears—Commando!

Catch your kilt before it disappears—you’re in arrears—Commando!

Catch your kilt before it disappears—you’re in arrears—Commando!

 

(And here's the original by ABBA...)

 

 

Comments

[danceswthcobras.livejournal.com]

I are officially dead of giggle. COMMANDOOOOOOO!!!!

[binaryalchemist.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I kept thinking about that horrible cold wind in Atlanta for GaFilk--and how terrific Dene looked in his kilt--and how a good kilt is a joy to behold--while a cheap kilt from some Hong Kong taylor is a danger to the health and safety for all bystanders. I knew a rather ignorant feller who bragged about being SCA Authentic and showed up at Beltaine in the most hideous monstrosity of a kilt I've ever seen--then grabbed a Museum Replicas axe and threatened to 'teach a lesson' to someone who laughed at his manhood...and promptly got his ass whipped and wound up tied to a tree. Unfortunately, ol' Billy Badass isn't likely to hear this song or own up to his own assholery...

[sexkitten426.livejournal.com]

"Fernando" is one of my fave ABBA songs. Wish I could watch you perform this live!

[binaryalchemist.livejournal.com]

It's a classic song--the harmonies are just beautiful. I haven't had time to rehearse it with Teri or learn the music--so we'll be doing it karaoke style and with my bronchitis I'm not going to sound great--but I'll record it for shits and giggles.....

[danceswthcobras.livejournal.com]

Oh please, and post an mp3. :)

[binaryalchemist.livejournal.com]

I've packed my trusty Sony mp3 recorder--we'll be trying to drown out ABBA but it will be fun anyway. Teri hasn't heard about it yet so I get to dump this little surprise on her between here and our destination, bwaaahaahaa!

OMG

[harmonyopc.livejournal.com]

You are officially one of The Funniest People I Know. *giggle* I know the original song!!! I died laughing!

THANK YOU for posting!

Re: OMG

[binaryalchemist.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked--it was recorded last saturday night live (without rehersal and singing over a CD) so as soon as we get the MP3 file I'll post it here.