FMA Filk: "HAVOC'S GENERAL STORE"

In honor of Episode 50---I wanted to post again this song I wrote for Jean when the original manga chapter was posted. Some of the folks who have friended me since then haven't seen it

HAVOC’S GENERAL STORE

(ttto “Kokomo” by The Beach Boys)

Filk lyrics by Aunty Binary

 

Sparkplugs and wipers, candy bars and diapers—

Cigars and newspapers, ice and window scrapers

There’s fresh lemonade here—and cases of grenades here—

At Havoc’s—

 

Once upon a time--

I served my country, I marched in line

I was part of the team—helping Mustang fulfill his dream…..

Everything was fine---

Until Lust slashed me through the spine

It may not be fair—but while I’m stuck here in this old wheelchair—

I’ll run the General Store

 

Sparkplugs and wipers, candy bars and diapers—

Cigars and newspapers, ice and window scrapers

There’s fresh lemonade here—and cases of grenades here—

Ohhh…I’m gonna send them to you COD, you’ll have to sign on delivery

Each item guaranteed---by Havoc’s General Store!

(Here on the farm—I’ll help by smugglin’ arms!)

 

There’s a palace coup—

Stuck in my chair wond’rin’ what to do—

Can’t fight by his side—there’s still some help I can provide—

Miss Maria Ross---will drive this shipment to my old boss

Too bad I won’t see his eyes—when they bug out in complete surprise

From what I’ve sent from my store---

 

I sent Roy some trifles—a couple-dozen rifles

Some cases of ammo—mini skirts of camo!

A few bombs for droppin’—to keep the Fuehrer hoppin’

Ohhh…I’m gonna send them to him COD, he’ll have to sign on delivery

Each item guaranteed---by Havoc’s General Store!

(No need for thanks—you owe me for those tanks!)

 

It was just my luck--to get my hands on that ice cream truck

Now my friends will survive—and Bradley’s just a sitting duck

‘Cause Roy’s got weapons galore!

 

No 31 Flavors—just wire and detonators

Some fuses and string—and pepper gas from Xing

A few bombs for droppin’—to keep the Fuehrer hoppin’

Ohhh…I’m gonna send them to him COD, he’ll have to sign on delivery

Each item guaranteed---by Havoc’s General Store!

 

I sent Roy some trifles—a couple-dozen rifles

Some cases of ammo—mini skirts of camo!

A few bombs for droppin’—to keep the Fuehrer hoppin’

Ohhh…I’m gonna send them to him COD, he’ll have to sign on delivery

Each item guaranteed---by Havoc’s General Store!

(repeat and fade out)